What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
