Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
nutella sex= disaster
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
