Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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