When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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