Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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