Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
