alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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