I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
