Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize