im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
