I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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