That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
