I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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