guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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