no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
