My friends, they love my intelligence
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
