I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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