There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
