Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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