I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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