i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
