Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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