I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
