I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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