i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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