I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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