I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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