i barfeds in our rink
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
