You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am mentally ready for anal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize