Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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