When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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