his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize