i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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