When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
