i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
