Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
