I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
