you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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