nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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