We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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