I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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