Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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