He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
