Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
