it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
