Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
