There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize