WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize