Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
