this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
