my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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