Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
