S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
