none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So much rum. So many feels.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
