I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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