Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
