she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
