I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize