Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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